I am no stranger of waiting & my guess is that you may not be either.
I have had vivid dreams of being a mother, holding my baby in my arms & waking up wondering how much longer I will have to wait to have that dream come true. Can I just say it? WAITING IS HARD! I often hear the phrase “joy in the waiting” but the reality is that there is naturally little-to-no joy in waiting.
My strong guess is that even after I become a mother, there will be many other things in life that God has me wait for. And becoming a mother surely isn’t the first thing that God has ever had me wait for either. But sometimes in the midst of it, it can feel like it may never come. If I am honest, there are times when my hope has wavered & the enemy has tried to feed me doubt about the promises that God has for me and for my family.
I feel like there are some things that I have learned while I wait on God’s promises in my life. I felt like I should write this not only because it might help someone else who might be waiting for a promise of their own. but to remind me in the future, that God is faithful & we can find so much growth in the waiting.
1. I’ve learned that I am NOT in control.
We often want to be in control, or at least I do! And if I am not, I like to at least feel like I am. It is SO hard to relinquish control & given the chance, we probably never would. I don’t know about you but humility is not my strong suite & waiting has helped me remember this.
I am not in control, but God is. This is both humbling & freeing at the same time. No matter how hard I try, sometimes I just can’t make things happen. I have to wait, wait on God. I was recently reminded that to wait on God means to hope in him. Waiting has reminded me that I have to keep setting my eyes on God, hoping in Him & trusting in Him. I am not in control.
2. I’ve been reminded of God’s love for me.
One of the most emotional worship songs for me in this season is the song “Here Waiting”. I could cry just sitting here & thinking of the lyrics…I can’t help it!
The song is truth based off of Psalm 34.
The bible says that God is near to the brokenhearted and he saves those who are crushed in spirit. The song goes on to say “don’t be far from me, I’m here waiting on you.” I cry because I know that God’s heart breaks with mine as I ache to be a mother because God put that desire in my heart. And if my heart aches this much for children of my own, how much more does God’s heart ache for us to be close to him?
This prolonged season of intense waiting has brought me so much closer to God than I ever would have thought. After all, all God & perfect gift is from God!
3. It has reminded me to be present.
As I cry out to God, I often hear God remind me that entering into Parenthood means that our lives will never be the same again. As much as I am excited for that, I am fully aware that this means more intentional dinners around the table, no more random outings to fancy restaurants without planning a babysitter, being quiet after baby bedtimes and so much more. So often when waiting for a promise, we forget to be present in the season that we are in.
I have learned to appreciate the quiet moments with Zach before we have a little one with us at all times. This season is precious & there are things that God has had for us in this season that may not be possible in future seasons of life…at least not for a while! I’m learning that I cannot be so consumed with promises of the future that I forget to enjoy the gift of the present.
4. It is making me more appreciative.
When you have to wait for something, you tend to become more appreciative of it. And while I still have yet to step into motherhood, I would like to think that waiting has given me an appreciation for it already that I otherwise might have lacked. I’m fully aware that there will be sleepless nights for the rest of my life, really rough moments & times where I throw my hands in the air in frustration but there will be a patience & strength that I carry with me because I had to wait.
There is a well known verse in Isaiah that says “those that wait on the Lord will renew their Strength.” I always wrestled with what that meant because I have often felt weary while waiting. I think that part of it’s meaning is in the strength that comes after the waiting and BECAUSE OF the waiting. I will get to look back on this season of waiting during those hard times that the season of parenting is sure to bring & have a profound sense of appreciation because of the waiting that I have endured to get there.
5. It has drawn me closer to God.
Every other thing that I have gained from waiting ultimately eludes to this, that waiting has brought me closer to God. It has really reminded me so much of my deep need for him. I have had so many moments of crying out to God. I have prayed so hard over my future children & what God has for them. I have been “forced” to draw near to God.
As I said earlier, waiting has also brought me humility, patience & appreciation as well.
But even more so, I have been convicted at times for being more focused on God’s promises than I have been on God himself.
I often have to remind myself that God is MORE than enough for me. And EVEN IF my desire never came to fruition, God is still good!
What a precious gift that is?! After all, isn’t that the greatest thing that God wants from us? For us to draw nearer to him?
It’s not always easy to wait, and if I am being honest…it is really hard. We can become restless, weary & down right angry at times. I’ve wrestled with God and asked questions like “Why us? Why are we being made to wait for this while others don’t have to?” The important thing is that we do our best to find the growth that God has for us in the waiting. Really, in any hard season of life, we have to ask ourselves things like, “What is God trying to show me?” & “How can I grow in this season?”.
It is often SO hard, trust me…I am no stranger to waiting but there are so many beautiful things that God has shown me & done in my BECAUSE of the waiting that I have endured.