I felt kind of weird saying that I was a Foster mom until we actually received our first placement. But now, I can confidently say it! I am a Foster mom & I am proud!
Today is only day three with this sweet girl & I have already gone through all of the emotions humanly possible. One of the biggest emotions that I have felt (almost immediately) thoroughly surprised me…and that is anxiety.
Here we were, picking up the tiniest baby and taking her home! She looked so sweet & helpless and I immediately wanted to take and protect her! It felt like my heart was out of my chest & with her. Every cry was a stress because I could not calm her down quite as fast as I hoped. Every perceived danger was heightened because we were now fully responsible for her. What was happening to me & why was I so emotional!? I cried tears of joy, tears of frustration and sometimes tears for no reason at all! I was totally overwhelmed by all of the emotions that flooded me!
Some emotions were good and others, not so much. I began to realize that I had a serious lack of confidence that I had never had with any other child that I had ever cared for. After all, this was new territory! This was the first time that we were caring for a child that we were solely responsible for. I was doubting my ability to adjust with her, doubting my ability to earn her trust & fearing for everything that was out of my control.
Hello! Did I not JUST post about remembering that I am never going to be in control!? Ha! How quickly we can forget the things that God has shown us! It was a good thing that we went to church the day after we got her because I needed to talk some things out & nip these feelings of doubt & anxiety in the bud! I talked to someone that I trusted, someone with similar life experience & got prayer! Pastor Fred could not finish talking about the importance of others standing in prayer with you before I was up at the alter, ready to ask friends to intercede on my behalf!
I immediately felt a release of anxiety & a weight fall off of my shoulders. I HAVE to walk in confidence, for I was made for this! God called me to it! The future of our family & this sweet baby girl is still very unknown and my feelings of anxiety and doubt are sure to resurface. But I will continue to give it back to God & rest in the peace of knowing that he is in control. He called us to this season & he WILL have our backs through it all!
On top of that, I have been reminded a hundred times over that we are NOT alone! We have a village surrounding us that also has our backs! We are so thankful for all of it! Here is to moms reminding one another that we’ve got this…because I don’t know about you but the enemy will NOT have any say in my mothering, not now & not ever!